Questions about Canada

Questions about Canada posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are jokes, ...

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)

A:We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A:Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A:Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water with you.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A:So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q:Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

A:What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure,
the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A:Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q:Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)

A:Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q:Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A:No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegans. Milk is illegal.

Q:Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A:Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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